


It's not about revenge (but you're losing a friend)

by nanialbee9



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: All other characters are background and mostly flashbacks, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29063088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanialbee9/pseuds/nanialbee9
Summary: supercorp promt lena going over all the times kara/supergirl saved her life and how many ways shed be dead without her and realizing all the times kara/supergirl stood up for her/defended her in public and private and how she would have been treated like a luthor and put in jail without her help and just coming to the realization that kara didnt use her like she said she did because kara would not do all that if she had been using her and just all around having a big impact realization about it
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 142





	It's not about revenge (but you're losing a friend)

**Author's Note:**

> *Title from The Cardigans' Losing a Friend.  
> This [Tumblr prompt](https://nieladasdenani.tumblr.com/post/641657351173275648/supercorp-promt-lena-going-over-all-the-times) will be a challenge because I have seen very little of the show since season 3 and none of the last season whatsoever. All my knowledge comes from Tumblr posts. And because I have strong opinions of how the reveal was handled by both canon and part of fandom. So I hope it still meets your expectations.

Lena’s hand trembles as she reaches for the bottle, so she clenches it in a tight fist and tries to take a deep breath to calm her mounting anxiety, though it doesn’t seem to have any effect. A sense of paranoia has her focusing her attention on the office door, expecting to hear the thunderous sound of trained boots rushing to get her, but nothing meets her ears. She sighs and tries to breathe deeper again. Then chances a look over her left shoulder at the balcony door, wide open, like a dare... or an invitation. If she turns completely, she’d be facing her desk, and on top of it lays Myriad, inactive. She knows she should have gone to Lex’s lair, where Hope in Eve’s body awaits to complete the mission. Would she be worried Lena hasn’t arrived? Confused?

 _“But, Miss Luthor, I am not your friend.”_ Lena scoffs at the memory and snatches the bottle and a glass.

“Neither was the person whose face you’re wearing, so I guess the integration was flawless.”

She drains the first glass of whiskey entirely in the first gulp and sits heavily on her pristine white couch. It's a mistake. There, on the floor, is the framed, cracked picture showing her smiling face, impossibly close to Kara’s own radiant expression. A stark difference to the one she was wearing when Lena left her in an iced kryptonite cell, inside her piece of home away from home: terrified, devastated. Some call it karma... _Others call it revenge._

_“Lena, please.”_

Lena sighs again and closes her eyes after pouring a second glass, that she holds loosely in her right hand. Both her elbows rest on her knees, and her head hangs low. Was Kara scared for National City, the world? Or was she afraid Lena’s trap would kill her?

_“Are you going to kill me now?”_

Was she scared _of_ Lena or _for_ Lena? No doubt the DEO has a dark, hidden dungeon waiting just for her, where they can lock her in isolation, like her demented brother was before he escaped and wrecked havoc. Before she killed him... Of course Kara would be fine. Lena made sure the trap was safe. That the kryptonite was non-lethal. She made sure of it. _It’s still an alien radioactive substance, though._ No, no, she made sure. She studied Lex’s journals exhaustively. She’s working for good.

_“I’m not a villain. You shouldn’t have treated me like one.”_

So why does it feel like she’s doing something wrong? Non Nocere was conceived to remove one of humanity’s biggest flaws, to remove one of the primary reasons for suffering. She’s doing it for the greater good. She’s doing a good thing. So, why is she here and not finishing it up? Maybe because deep down she knows that, no matter how good her intentions, this is not the way, deceiving everyone to achieve her goal.- _Using Kara. -Like she used me! -Did she? -Yes! She lied for years! -Do you realize you’re trying to convince yourself of this?_

Lena’s whole head hurts from how hard she’s clenching her jaw. Kara lied for years. _A Super and a Luthor_. She must have been using her, why else would she have lied for so long? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, and all that. _The Luthor way._ Making sure Lena walked the line. _Saving your life, protecting you._ Enough! Lena shakes her head again, harder, to silence the voice inside. It works, so she closes her eyes and sighs.

Then images start flashing: A helicopter spinning out of control towards the ground. The pilot unconscious, limp next to her. Bracing for a certain death that never comes.

_“You’re safe now.”_

Feeling suddenly sick. Knowing too late that something’s wrong with the coffee. Someone has posioned her and succeded at it. She clinging to consciousness, barely, dreaming of Kara saving her. Taking her in her arms and flying her up to safety.

_“You were flying, and you were carrying me.”_

Lena determined to protect Kara as they both face Mercy inside L Corp. They somehow managed to avoid the rain of bullets from the intruders and are now trapped in the labs with the armed enemy. But Lena’s armed too. She’ll protect Kara, who seems eager to leave, which confuses Lena, she’s seen Kara square up to people before, especially to stand up for Lena. But she let’s her leave, she’ll be safer anyway. And then Supergirl is there, neutralizing Mercy in the blink of an eye.

_“The Luthor name doesn’t deserve Lena.”_

A half machine half man monstrosity trying to storm her newly rebranded company. She, braving an attempt at defense. An enormous metallic representation of said rebranding flying towards her, promising a sure, painful death. She, bracing for the impact that never comes. Looking through her hands to see the Girl of Steel stumbling from the force of protecting Lena from it.

_“Get out of here!”_

She confronting Edge, who poisoned children in an attempt at getting back at Lena. Almost going through with killing him. Instead getting knocked out and strapped onto a doomed plane. Not only is she going to die, all her work to be good would be erased, her reputation. But, once more, it doesn’t come.

_“No, I’m not going to drop you!”_

Kara, sweet and dorky, suddenly stony facing Detective Sawyer, who’s come to take Lena into custody. Conviction in her blue eyes, sure of Lena’s innocence. Willing to face off with her sister’s girlfriend over it. Lena shocked at the protective display.

_“Hold on, Maggie. Slow down. Just, let her explain.”_

Supergirl trying to warn her of her mother’s terrorist endeavors. Not as in warning Lena to stir clear of it. Not as in warning her that she’s being watched. But as if to telling her to be careful, that she may be in danger. As if telling her Supergirl herself will protect her, if she’d let her.

_“Be your own hero.”_

She deliberatedly jumping off a cliff, after facing off with a terrorist organization. Pushing the buttom on the watch Kara gave her, to protect her, always. With not a trace of doubt in her system that Kara would come to her rescue. Feeling the power of the lasers coming out of Kara’s eyes.

_“What was that?”_

Lena falling from her office balcony, thinking of her fear of heights, her fear of flying. Thinking of Kara listening to her falling to her death after a couple of her mother’s goons accidentally toppled her. Clutching to Kara’s voice as the last thing she hears. Until arms of steel catch her and making it feel like falling onto a cloud. Freezing breath rushing past her face, and still feeling warm.

_“Dropped something?”_

_“I was having coffee with Kara Danvers.”_

Lena, flanked by the Danvers Sisters coming into a dream realm to confront Sam’s demons. A monster wearing Sam’s face attacking them, lifting Lena by the neck, threateing to break it.

_“Let her go! Take me, take me instead, please!”_

Being kidnapped onto an alien ship. And invader alien ship. Almost forced to get married, to Kara’s boyfriend, no less. Getting rescued by Supergirl. Joining forces with her mom, who had previously joined forces with Supergirl, both putting their difference aside to save Lena. Creating a device that would eradicate the invading threat, but that included Kara’s love. Kara, devastated, but reassuring Lena that it was not her fault, that she did what she had to.

_“Lena, you helped Supergirl save the world.”_

Kidnapped by her mother, after being framed. Used to get to Lex’s arsenal of anti-alien weaponry. Supergirl crashing the site, knowingly risking her safety with Lilian, Metallo and Cyborg Superman surrounded by weapons designed to defeat a Kryptonian. Supergirl on her knees, in pain. Warning them of the risk of Metallo’s unstable kryptonite’s core. A potential explosion that would kill her. And still staying to carry Lena out of there, just in the nick of time.

_“Kara Danvers believes in you.”_

_“You’re good, Lena.”_

_“So, my office is overflown with flowers.”_

_“That’s what friends are for.”_

_“I’ve never had friends like you.”_

_“I trust you.”_

_“Supergirl might have saved me. But you, Kara Danvers, you are my hero.”_

Lena’s gasping, just now realizes she’s crying. _What have I done?_ But there’s no time to think about it further. A crash coming from her balcony captures her attention, and she stands, drink still in hand, tears still rolling down her face. Supergirl struggles to keep upright: she’s pale, panting. Her eyes, as wild as her hair, searching her surroundings, until they find Lena. And it’s palpable how the relief fills Kara. Her shoulders sag and her eyes close.

“Lena.”

But Lena has not gotten over Supergirl, _Kara’s_ state. And then she sees her hands. There’s blood and bruises there. There’s blood on Kara’s hands. Lena can’t take her eyes of the damaged limbs. She takes a couple of steps towards the hero.

“You’re bleeding.”

Kara seems to not have heard her. She looks at Myriad and lingers there. As if she’s trying to see through it. But can’t. She’s helping herself stay standing by bracing one shoulder on the balcony door. Turns to Lena again.

“Please, Lena. Don’t do this. Please.”

“Kara, you’re bleeding.”

“If you do this, Lena, if you do this there’s no going back.”

“Why are you bleeding?”

“Not like, for humanity. We’d be able to fix that. We’ve done it before. With Myriad. But for you, Lena. You’ll be devastated when your anger subsides.”

“Kara.”

“Please, Lena, you’ve worked so hard to leave your family’s bad name behind. It’ll be so much harder to come back if you do this.”

“Kara, stop.”

“No, no. You gotta listen. You can’t do this! It will hurt you!”

“Kara. You are bleeding!”

“What?” And finally, she looks down. At her hands. “Oh.”

Lena closes the distance between them. Takes Kara’s hands in hers. Inspects the damage. Her mind racing to understand what she’s seeing. Kara is Supergirl, she should not be bleeding. Now Lena can see that Kara is also shivering. From exertion or cold, Lena isn’t sure. Both, maybe. She’s still catching her breath.

“You punched your way out.” She says this and looks up at Kara’s face, she knows her eyes are wide with shock and her mouth is, too. A little. Lilian would be appalled. “Kara, why? The trap would have turned off in a couple of hours. I would never...”

“I know. I know but... it was so tight in there.”

“Tight?”

“The space was so small.”

“Oh. Oh! You’re... Are you claustrophobic?” Oh, no. No.

Kara shrugs, looks sideways at the desk. At Myriad. But she’s not trying to contain Lena, to restrain her. She’s not rushing to take Myriad, either. She’s trusting Lena to listen, to do what’s right.

“Why? Kara why didn’t you... I didn’t know. I didn’t know if I would have. I would’ve not put you in there,”

“We both did things. Lena, I promise. I’ve only lied about my secret identity. And I know there’s no excuse, but I have plenty. And I’ll tell you all of them when you’re ready to hear them. But, please, you have to believe me: I never lied about us. I swear I was not using you. You must believe me, Lena, please!”

“I think I do, now. I’m... I’m still hurt and angry. But, I know. I realize you didn’t need to work so hard on protecting me. From experience, I know that masks fall faster than that. I was just... Hearing it from Lex, while I killed him was overpowering.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I gave him the chance to take that away from us. I’m sorry that yet again I was robbed of the opportunity to tell someone I love. And that it gave him such a way to hurt you. I’m sorry that it made you feel used and unloved. I love you Lena. I love you.”

Lena’s vision is blurry with tears. And it gets worse when Kara’s words paint a smile on Lena’s face. At some point she has dragged Kara to the couch, have them both sat down, and she’s yet to let go of the hero’s bruised hands.

“You do?”

“I do. Of course I do. I love you. I’d say it as much as you’d need.”

“Hold on.”

Lena stands despite Kara’s throughly confused expression. She raches for the first aid kit in the bathroom and sits back next to Kara. Starts tending to the wounds, a little worried that hey don’t seem to be healing by themselves. But not wanting to draw attention to it. Kara watches her work in silence, with the occasional flinch or hiss of pain.

“You may want to reconsider your offer. I don’t think I’ll ever tired of you saying it.”

Kara looks lost for a second, until her face clears of all confusion. She smiles.

“I don’t have a problem with that.”

“I’m going to have to work on myself and my issues, though. Before we can really start to explore our relationship. In whichever form you’re willing to have it.”

“I’ll have to work on my issues, too. And we’ll work together on our relationship. I’ll have whatever you’rewilling to give me.”

And Lena almost says _I’ll give you everything_ out loud. She finishes up tending to Kara’s wounds. And sighs.

“When should I expect the DEO to come and get me?” Kara frowns at her.

“Why would they come and get you?”

“I imagine Alex wants my head after wha I did?”

“Ales doesn’t know.” But Lena’s is too shocked to respond. “We’ll go and stop everything about the Non Nocere project. You’ll get Hope out of Eve, and we’ll deliver her to the authorities. Then we’ll all work together to stop Leviathan. Then, maybe after we worked through our stuff enough and we are in a better place, we can tell the story as a funny anecdote.”

“There’s not one funny thing about what’s happened.” Lena deadpans, because...

“I’m sure I can make it funny. I’m charming like that.” And Lena loves her cocky side. Lena loves all of her sides, she’s come to realize.

“Yes, you’re hilarious.”

Kara’s phone goes off before she can sass back and Lena can hear Alex voice through the speaker.

“Kara, finally. I was getting worried I couldn’t reach you or Lena.”

“We’re ok.” She says while holding her eyes to Lena’s. “I told her.” There’s a sigh on the other end of the call. Not dissapointed, nor angry. Just a sigh.

“Ok. I know you’ve wanted to tell her for a while. And I know you feel like your secret affects more than just you, Kara. But it’s ultimately yours to share. We’ve all have done it for you enough times. I also know you’re worried about the DEO trapping Lena with the excuse of confidentiality. But I promise you I won’t let that happen. How did she take it?”

“Well... I mean, she’s hurt. And I think we’re goin to have to work that out. But...” She let’s the sentence hang for a second, looking at Lena, who nods. “But, we’ll be all right.”

“I know you guys will. Now, enough sentimentality. What about the plan?”

“We found Eve, we’re about to intercept her and bringing her into cosudy. Then we can start working on the rest of the bad guys.”

“Sounds like good. I’ll see you guys soon. Would you need back-up?”

“No, we’ve got it.” She ends the call and stands, walking towards the balcony. Lena stays put, an eyebrow lifting in amussement.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To get Eve? Hope? Both?”

“We’re not flying, Kara. You can barely walk.” She can see Kara about to argue, so she activates the portal and gestures to it, expectantly. “Shall we?”

“Show-off.” Kara grumbles as she walks through it and Lena and her laugh follow her. Yes, they’ll be all right.


End file.
